WHAT IF…

…you are molested by a trusted family employee because you’re a cute child and you don’t know how to verbalise the horror so you gorge on food, and everyone in school wonders why you can no longer sweep all the prizes on Sports Day?

…a sister returns home from a night class filled with fear, and undergoes a swift and sudden behavioural transformation, and stops making sense and starts swearing, and later succeeds in taking her own life after several failed attempts?

…a brother is reported as MIA (Missing In Action) and your family frantically follows the most tenuous leads. Then a stranger calls and suggests you check out the mortuary as the body he’d seen at the base of his block of flats resembles the Missing Person ad with your sibling’s photo. But he thinks the person’s in his 30s while your brother’s just 19, so you decide to head to the morgue alone in case he’s mistaken and you don’t want your loved ones to be troubled by a false alarm. After the staff lets you identify the corpse pulled out from a “freezer”, they realise you’re underaged and can’t sign documents to claim the body. So you, the baby of the family, calls your parents to break the devastating news to them

…your elderly father develops senile dementia which progressively worsens, and for more than ten years, you have a dad who’s there physically yet not quite there

…the spouse you’d entrusted your virginity to walks out and disappears, presumably overseas, for close to a decade, and has zero contact with the wife, children and mother he left behind

…your kids react to your single-parenting with a range of responses varying from stretches of appreciation and love to sessions of cynicism and defiance, and from bouts of violence and rage to rounds of withdrawal and anxiety

How will you respond to traumas and tragedies like these?
Do you weep till there are no more tears left?
Rant and rave and hit out to release your anger?
Sink into depression and become suicidal?
Vow never to trust anyone ever again?
Torment yourselves with regrets or pledge revenge?
Turn the sorrow inwards and hurt yourself in some way?

We human beings resort to myriad ways of coping with negative, painful and traumatic situations. The unhealthy effects often culminate in a combination of disorders and dysfunctions. A spectrum can be found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Latest edition DSM-5). Often, the prescription is long-term medication coupled with training in coping mechanisms.

For Christians involved in the Healing and Deliverance ministry, one vital component of a complete cure is to uncover and address the spiritual roots of conditions afflicting the human spirit, soul and body. This is clearly recognised by practitioners of many other religions as well, hence through the ages, their devotees have turned to witch doctors like mediums, bomohs, shamans and sorcerors.

I used to think that it was a cop-out or shirking of responsibility when adults attribute the problems they face to their childhood experiences. But I’ve since learnt that deeply entrenched blows like rejection and abandonment that’s birthed in a toddler, infant or even a foetus—such as through the mother’s attempted abortion or desertion—can colour a person for years or even a lifetime, unless they are identified and properly dealt with.

Jesus Christ promised His followers, “I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).” If you’re a believer struggling with issues that you need help with, you might want to find out whether your church has a Healing and Deliverance Ministry.

One Christian organisation that offers personal ministry sessions is Ellel Ministries International headquartered in the United Kingdom with centres across the world. This is the website: http://www.ellelministries.org/ ~ All its counsellors undergo thorough theoretical and practical training. In Singapore, most are volunteers like me. Counsellees aren’t charged a fee but those who can afford it support the work through voluntary donations.

Freedom Reigns – Jason Upton
Lyrics/Music: Mike Larson
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom
Showers of Mercy and Grace falling on every face
If you’re tired and thirsty, there is freedom, feel the chains fall away
We lift our eyes to Jesus, there is freedom

SNIPPETS FROM MY PAST

The first time I stepped into a church was to attend a holiday camp at the invitation of my primary school Chinese teacher. It was a semi-detached house in Serangoon Gardens just a short walk from my home and I recall sewing a fat pink pig as one of the activities! Cherith Baptist was where I was introduced to the Bible in Mandarin. As Father God has His ways of bringing about divine connections, in case that kind teacher is ever led to my blog, I’d like to say, “谢谢老师! 愿恩惠与平安从父神和主耶稣基督归于您.”

My water baptism took place in East Coast Lagoon. I was then part of a Christian youth group comprising mainly military cum symphonic band members from Cedar Girls’ Secondary and Victoria School. We were Ambassadors For Christ meeting every Saturday in Balestier. On Sundays, most of us attended Bethel Assembly of God which used to be at Palm Grove Avenue in Kovan, near where I now live.

Purple and pink were my favourite colours for a long time, and at one point I only wrote in purplish ink. I had a hot pink jumpsuit in my teens and I used to pose against gorgeous flowers when taking photos. I’ve retained my liking for purple clothes, but am now mostly leaving pink attire to youngsters while I opt for red accessories as being more befitting of my mature status. However, I do still enjoy a refreshing pink strawberry milkshake!

MORSELS FROM MY PRESENT

I’m happy feasting on fruits and salads as a meal in themselves (the photo above shows my dinner presented as food art) but I’m mindful of the need for a healthy balanced diet. To me, fresh raw salmon, a juicy steak and a cheesy prawn-spinach pizza are tasty treats indeed!

Being a Hainanese, I have high expectations when it comes to one of Singapore’s favourite foods—Hainanese Chicken Rice. I consider Pow Sing Restaurant in Serangoon Gardens as serving one of the best versions on the island.

As we kick off the 9th month of this year, for all who began 2013 with plans, dreams and resolutions, this would be a good time to take stock. For me, it’s the start of a six-month COUNTDOWN to my fiftieth year of existence on earth. I’m hoping to make my first trip to Israel next year to trace the footsteps of my Lord while He was on earth.

In the Bible, the 50th year is known as the Year of Jubilee. Blow the trumpets and proclaim a Holy Year! Liberty and a Fresh Start! Respecting every human. Renewing our dedication to the Lord Almighty. Recognising the call to Do Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly with our God.

“Every 50 years everybody’s bank balance was levelled up, debts were cancelled and all the property reverted to the family who originally owned it. So the leases would get cheaper the closer you came to the fiftieth year. Slaves were also set free in the Jubilee year. Thus people looked forward to the Jubilee, known also as ‘the acceptable year of the Lord’. It was good news for the poor because they would be rich again, and it was a time when captives would be set at liberty. Jesus proclaimed in Nazareth: ‘The Spirit of the Lord is on Me…to preach good news to the poor…to proclaim freedom for the prisoners…to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.’ In other words, Jesus began the real Jubilee to which every one of these people had been looking forward.” –Unlocking The Bible by David Pawson

Jubilee – Michael Card
Lyrics/Music: Michael Card, Randy Scruggs
Jesus is our Jubilee
At the Lord’s appointed time His deep desire became a man
The heart of all true jubilation and with joy we understand
In His voice we hear a trumpet sound that tells us we are free!
He is the incarnation of the Year of Jubilee
(Thanks to Juliana for sharing this lovely song)

The Year Of Jubilee (Shnat HaYovel) – Paul Wilbur, Batya Segal
Lyrics/Music: Yochanan Ben Yehuda, Bill Cuomo, Ann Hilsden, Ian Jupp

We sing this song to You, it’s a sacrifice of praise
From the fruit of our lips, we come to bless Your holy name
Your mercy endures forever, and You delivered us from sin
Lord please teach us to love our brothers, and forgive as You forgive
In The Year of Jubilee

Hope Springs Eternal

A youth asked me the other day, “Is there hope for this world?” The question came in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing, the death of a 4-year old girl after she was viciously raped in India, and the collapse of a factory complex in Bangladesh that killed more than 400.

My answer was an emphatic “Yes!” I’m not burying my head in the sand, for news is the essence of my career, and I’m keenly aware of the tensions, scandals, chaos and disasters around the globe. And yes, I realise that many animal and plant species are going extinct while natural reserves are being depleted at an unsustainable rate. Closer to home, I know people who’re struggling with money problems, family breakups, terminal diseases and mental illnesses.

But what is life without hope? To me, that sounds like the surest route to depression, or severe ennui as the French call it—listlessness, utter weariness and discontent. To be perpetually pessimistic is to embrace what King Solomon of ancient Israel (gifted with great wisdom yet foolish in his lifestyle choices) concluded in old age, “Vanity of vanities! All is vanity” or “Meaningless! Meaningless! Everything is meaningless!” -Ecclesiastes 12:8

Hopelessness paralyses. Hope keeps us going, even if it’s for just one day at a time. An author who suffered crushing childhood abuse entitled her book, “Just Enough Light for the Step I’m On.”  Stormie Omartian exemplifies the spirit of the biblical holy women who “trusted and hoped in God” and “do not give way to fear” but do what is “good and right.” -1 Peter 3:5-6

More than a decade ago, a colleague commented with a tinge of envy, “Carol, you have everything!” By which she meant a good job, a husband with a promising career, bright children and the 5Cs sought after by many Singaporeans—Car, Credit Card, Condominium and Country Club membership. She couldn’t see the insecurity and fears that I felt deep inside me despite the outward achievements, and in fact, I wouldn’t have known how to express it if asked then, although now I recognise that it was a God-shaped void in me. I certainly wasn’t ready then to encounter death and meet my Creator face-to-face, for my family had lapsed into nominal Christianity.

My forties have been a decade of coping with major losses including the death of my mother who wasn’t a Christian. Witnessing the intense agony that I went through—a very dark few weeks during which I had to literally “wrestle with God” the way Job did in the bible—a long-time friend remarked, “I don’t know how you manage to stay sane.” The answer to that was that I had drawn close to my Heavenly Father again during those years and was firmly anchored in Him, assured of my true identity as His beloved child. My life hasn’t been a bed of roses, but my faithful God has seen me through every storm, so I’ve learnt to constantly find my security in Him and draw strength and refreshment daily from “my ever present Help in trouble.”

Now, whenever something happens that I don’t appreciate and may never understand this side of Heaven, my many personal testimonies of God’s faithfulness, goodness and guidance enables me to continue placing my confidence and trust in Him. So in the midst of the worst situations and circumstances, I can boldly declare that my sovereign Lord is the perfect blend of Love and Holiness, Grace and Judgement. “Will not the Judge of all the earth do right” and “deal justly?” No one will have any cause for complaint against God when His perspective is fully revealed at a future date in history.
~

There are useful experiences and hard-earned lessons that I plan to share in my future posts, with the hope that they’ll encourage those facing the same issues and struggles. Some colleagues who’ve been with me most of my working life will be surprised that they never knew what I was going through at the time. But if we’re honest, I think most of us don’t really have a clue as to what the majority of the people we interact with at work are really feeling or going through.  I don’t put on a front, for I believe in honesty and am typically grounded in reality, but I’ve also learnt to be wise. Share personal matters only with those you trust, people who’ll take the time to provide good counsel or even lend a helping hand when needed. You don’t have to oblige if you suspect that all the other party wants is more fodder for the gossip mill.

During my first year as a Broadcast Journalist, an older reporter asked me bluntly, “So did you get one, two or three?” She was referring to the standard increments then of $100, $200 or $300. Taken off-guard, I blurted out the figure. Since then, my company has corporatised and increments come in a wide range of amounts. At the same time, I’ve learnt to simply smile when faced with such brazen queries. One tip is that it’s helpful to prepare your answers at home if there are things you prefer to keep to yourself or disclose only to a select few.

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WHO AM I?

Who am I, they ask me? I’m LOVED & ACCEPTED—the cure for so many of the world’s ills. Many are trapped in a relentless search for that elusive security, never finding a level that satisfies until we come to the feet of Jesus Christ. LOVED—for eternity! Surpassing all expectations and exceeding all imagination. Beloved Lord, I hunger and thirst to love and be loved to the full measure that You intend for me.”

Father God loves us, accepts us, and wants a personal relationship with us. So He’s made it possible for us to be saved by grace and “raised up with Him and seated with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” -Ephesians 2:6

As I was using my calculator today, I was struck by the similarity between a plus sign and the Cross of Calvary. God our Provider adds good things to our lives—Love, Family, Purpose, Wisdom, Hope of A Glorious Eternal Home through Jesus Christ!

What repels God? ==Pride. An excessively high opinion of oneself/one’s importance; contempt for others.
What attracts God? ==Humility. Throw ourselves upon the mercies of God with all our guilt, shame & unworthiness. Our Heavenly Father races to embraces us just as we are. He gathers up the fragments of our lives into His loving, healing arms. –(40-Day Prayer 2011 @ http://www.lovesingapore.org.sg)

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My Prayer For You
My friend, if you’re troubled, stressed or discouraged today, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy & peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
– Romans 15:13

Here’s a song that stirred up hope in many victims of Typhoon Katrina in America.
Still/Be Still My Soul – Don Moen
Lyrics/Music: Reuben Morgan

Everything Falls/Arms That Hold The Universe – Fee
Lyrics/Music: Eddie Kirkland, Steve Fee

“Hope springs eternal in the human breast; Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin’d from home, Rests and expatiates in a life to come.”
–Alexander Pope (An Essay on Man)

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DASHED HOPES

A very disappointed soft drinks salesman returned from his Middle East assignment.
His friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Arabs?”
He explained, “When I received my new posting, I was very confident of making a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown in the Middle East. But I had a problem as I don’t know Arabic. So I decided to be creative by conveying the message through three posters…

Poster 1: A man lying in the hot desert sand, totally exhausted
Poster 2: The man drinks Cola
Poster 3: Our man is totally refreshed and energised!

…I made sure these posters were put up all over town,” sighed the salesman.
“That sounds like a good idea that should have worked!” said the friend.
“To my horror,” replied the salesman sadly, “I found out that I had made a huge mistake!”…

…“Don’t you know that Arabs read from right to left?!”

Know Your Customers! 😀