My 3rd Stay

Said the patient to the ward nurse, “May I have iced water please?
Said the nurse to the patient, “It’s the first time anyone has asked me for iced water!”
Said the patient to the nurse, “And you might want to remove the hot water flask 🙂 I won’t be using it so there’s no need to keep changing the content daily.”

Said the patient to the anaesthetist, “My pain threshold is very high, how about I stay conscious and watch the surgery?”
Said the anaesthetist to the patient, “That would be stressful for the surgeon! No one has wanted this, it’s the first time I’m hearing such a request.“
Said the patient to the anaethetist, “I prefer to know what’s being done to me.”

Aside
It’s a journalistic instinct that dates back to my childhood.
Come vaccination time, the nurses that make their school rounds tell every pupil, “Look away.”
My reply to the amused or unnerved nurses as I stare intently each time, “I prefer to see.”

Have I become a legend at Singapore General Hospital? 🙂
This is my third stay here since I received emergency treatment here for Massive Pulmonary Embolism last February. And this time it takes me to the Obstetrics & Gynaecology ward.

It’s just hours to my morning surgery which looks likely to be done under General Anesthesia, or perhaps it’ll be changed to a localised application if my earlier request is moderated 

As I sit in my comfortable room, God’s love washes over me in waves and my entire being is enfolded in His Embrace. I’m soaking in worship of my Good God, the Trustworthy One. Oh, how I love Him! He gives me a constant song of joy in Him and a core of deep peace that surpasses understanding. What a priceless treasure that can be possessed by every Christian – an absence of fear and worry as we root ourselves in the Rock of All Ages!

Background to the Operation

During the comprehensive range of scans done when I was first hospitalised nearly a year ago, the doctors found multiple fibroids and polyps enlarging my womb. The combined size was the equivalent of an 18-week pregnancy even though there was no obvious swelling of the tummy from the outside. Apparently there is a possibility that this added pressure to nerves/vessels and could have triggered blood clots – speculative, as till today there’s no definite known cause for my Pulmonary Embolism. A risk factor worth considering, according to my doctors. Added to that was of course the high volume of monthly blood loss due to the combination of fibroids and the anti-coagulant that I’m on which could mean a resumption of anaemia and potential need for fresh blood transfusions.

Solution: Open surgery operation, a swift procedure to reduce the possibility of fresh clots.
I’ve been waiting on God for some months and feel comfortable going ahead with this before I start my Year of Jubilee (Liberty!) with my birthday in February 2014.

My 50th year of life – a special season that started with Time Alone/Away With Him at a beautiful seaside resort where standing in the crashing waves never fail to connect me to God’s wider Creation. Trikora Beach Club on the Indonesian island of Bintan – I’ll be writing a whole blog post about that. It’s a God-given place of seclusion that I plan to return to several times this year alone.

Creator God – the LORD (the Father of Jesus Christ) said to the seas, “Thus far shall you come and no farther; and here shall your proud waves be stayed.” – Job 38:11

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Creation Calls – Brian Doerksen

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Back to SGH 🙂
God’s favour was evident from the start of my stay. I’d requested the more spacious corner room that’s similar to the one I was blessed with last February. There was a patient staying here the day before I was admitted, but her doctor discharged her hours before my reporting time.

Ward 53. Room 1. 1st patient on the Friday morning operation list. 8.30am.
Before I came in, the excellent senior physiotherapist Tang Shufen who’d helped me build up stamina and strength had messaged, “I hope you get the first slot so there’ll be no long waiting time.”
Cherished by Father God – that’s how I felt.

Compression Stockings to prevent blood clots during the operation. I had to stop taking my anti-coagulant the day before so this was a physical precaution.

May this procedure pave the way for my going off blood thinning medicine for the prevention of blood clots – something my haematologist had suggested might have to be a lifelong measure. “If you want to stop taking anti-coagulant, I’d feel more comfortable if you had the op.”

God has blessed me with dual individual and company health insurance plans that allow me a single room in a private or restructured hospital. But with the excellent level of care I’ve encountered at different units of SGH and its affiliated National Heart Centre, the choice was easy.

I took a night walk around SGH as it’d be a while before I can move around at a fast pace so freely. What a beautiful time of communion and intercession as the joy of the Lord bubbled deep within me. “Who is like unto You, oh our LORD? No one else is worthy of our praise and worship!”

Psalm 134
“Behold, bless (affectionately and gratefully praise) the Lord,
all you servants of the Lord, [singers] who by night stand in the house of the Lord.
Lift up your hands in holiness and to the sanctuary and bless the Lord
[affectionately and gratefully praise Him]!
The Lord bless you out of Zion, even He Who made heaven and earth.”

The Perfect Balance

“It’s not fair!” is a cry that you’ll hear even from the tiniest tots.
Equally instinctive is the motion of little arms held up expectantly for a hug.

The need for love and justice appears to be a fundamental human reflex.
And to me, the balance between the two is such a critical one.

When I was first told about the God who loves me and is ever ready to forgive all my sins if I repented of them, something deep in my human spirit responded to the conviction of His Holy Spirit. But as I fell in the category of what’s generally regarded as a “good girl”, I didn’t really comprehend the great divide between a holy God and sinful Man—sin being defined as the transgression of Creator God’s law and absolute moral standards whether in deed or thought.

Nonetheless, the concept of God as Love and a focus on the New Testament (the second part of the Bible that starts with the life of Jesus Christ) sustained my faith from my secondary school days right through to my early working years as a TV reporter. But that didn’t give me a complete picture of God Almighty, of whom Proverbs 15:33 advises, “The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord brings instruction in Wisdom.” So once faced with the demands of balancing a high-adrenalin newsroom career with being a wife and raising two young hyperactive sons, partial truth reduced me to becoming what’s known as a “backslidden” or nominal Christian. There’s a warning by Jesus to this group in Revelation, the last book of the Holy Scriptures.

“I know your [record of] works and what you are doing; you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of My mouth! For you say, I am rich; I have prospered and grown wealthy, and I am in need of nothing; and you do not realise and understand that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.” – Rev 3: 15-17

Fast-forward my 30s which I shared about in “Hope Springs Eternal”. In my 40s, I devoured the Old Testament (its first book Genesis explains the creation of our universe and the first man and woman) and found that so much of it made sense to me in this phase of my life. The Psalms expressed every emotion that I could ever feel and echoed every cry that I could ever utter!

The holiness, righteousness, faithfulness, mercy and goodness of Father God reverberated through the pages of the front part of His inspired Word. And when I combined all that with His love, grace and compassion epitomised by His Son Jesus in the New Testament, a richness and wholeness came through that had escaped me previously.

I don’t know who first said this, but “The Old Testament is the New Testament concealed and the New Testament is the Old Testament revealed.”

If I believe only that my God is Love, I would not have the assurance that He’ll be fair, for love alone—at least as far as we humans know it—can lead to biased, illogical or plain bad decisions. On the other hand, if I know my God only as being Holy or Righteous, I wouldn’t be at all certain that He can truly understand or have compassion on Mankind, a race riddled with inconsistencies and frailties.

But when the two are combined in a perfect balance, therein lies my security and equanimity.
(Friviolous aside: I’ve known the word “equanimity” for ages but this is the first time I’m using it in a sentence! It means mental or emotional stability or composure, especially under tension or strain.)

To be certain of justice from the Impartial One whose standards are perfect and yet whose love is great and mercy is rich—I can safely put my trust in a God like this. No wonder we are told that, “Shall not the Judge of all the earth deal justly?” –Genesis 18:25b. That’s one of my favourite Bible verses found on my introductory page “Me In A Nutshell” . Another is Psalm 89:14, “Righteousness and justice are the foundation of Your throne; mercy and loving-kindness and truth go before Your face.”

In a court case, witnesses are asked to precede their sworn testimony with words similar to these, “I promise that the evidence I shall give shall be the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” In John 8:31-32, Jesus told all those who believed that He’s the Son of the Living God, “If you abide in My word [hold fast to My teachings and live in accordance with them], you are truly My disciples. And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.” That is why my email signature looks like this:

Showers of Blessings!
🙂
Carol 珍
http://www.carolfoo.com

Seek the Truth, Love the Truth, Live the Truth!

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David Ravenhill, a Christian minister and author taught my church recently that when we pray, we need to believe three things about God—His “Presence, Passion and Power”. David’s illustration goes like this (non-verbatim)—”If I’m walking alone on the streets and a huge muscleman wants to attack me, a friend who’s equally well-developed (Power) and loves me (Passion) but isn’t there at that time (No Presence) wouldn’t be of any help to me. If another friend suddenly turns up (Presence) and is more than willing to rush over to assist me (Passion) but he’s much smaller than my would-be attacker (hence No Power), both of us could end up getting hurt despite his kind intentions!”

A God who is forever the ideal combination of Presence, Passion and Power provides the perfect balance that any of us could ever want or need.

– Weary and wonder when the sun will shine on you?“
“So let us seize and hold fast and retain without wavering the hope we cherish and confess and our acknowledgement of it, for He Who promised is reliable (sure) and faithful to His word. And let us consider and give attentive, continuous care to watching over one another, studying how we may stir up (stimulate and incite) to love and helpful deeds and noble activities.” –Hebrews 10: 23-24

– Feel misunderstood or unappreciated?
“For the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” –1 Samuel 16:7b ~ “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” –Galatians 6:9 ~ “For surely there is a latter end [a future and a reward], and your hope and expectation shall not be cut off.” –Proverbs 23:18

– Treated badly or taken advantage of?
Forgive, as God has so freely forgiven us. For Christians, our role model is our Lord Jesus Christ, the Perfect One who was betrayed, wrongly accused, slandered, rejected and crucified. Yet Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” –Luke 23:34

“For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.” –Matthew 6:14
“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in Heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop.” –Mark 11:25

Pulpit Commentary – Biblesoft (Useful Link: http://www.biblehub.com)
“The pious writer urges the injured person to commit his cause to the Lord, not in the hope of seeing vengeance taken on his enemy, but in the certainty that God will help him to bear the wrong and deliver him in His own good time and way.” Hillel (the ancient Jewish sage and scholar) enjoins, “Do not thou that to thy neighbour which thou hatest when it is done to thee.” In modern lingo, it means that whatever you find hateful, do not do to your fellow man. As Jesus taught in His famous Sermon on the Mount, “Love your enemies, bless those that curse you, do good to those that hate you, and pray for those who speak evil about you (those who accuse you falsely, mistreat you, spitefully use you) and persecute you.” –Matthew 5:44

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In The Image Of God
I believe in asking God for His perspective on each person I encounter. He alone knows their entire life journey that has shaped them thus far. Ellel Ministries uses a very enlightening skit to demonstrate this. A friend or colleague may seem to over-react to what many consider a harmless remark. But if we could get a glimpse into what has built up over a long period of time, we would realise that for that person, it’s the “last straw that breaks the camel’s back” causing their cup to “run over” but in a negative way. (In Psalm 23:5, the phrase ‘My Cup Runneth Over’ means “God provides more than enough to meet my needs.”)

Easy anger or extreme shyness could be a defence mechanism against past multiple hurts and abuse while brash arrogance and workaholism could well mask insecurity and a relentless need to prove oneself acceptable through continuous achievement. That’s not to say that bad behaviour is acceptable but let’s take a little time to look beyond the surface and it’s likely that our response will be the better for it.

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The following may seem fantastical if you don’t believe that the Bible was written through the inspiration of God but I really hope you’ll finish reading this paragraph. God has exposed the strategy of satan the fallen angel turned devil—he was once the high ranking archangel Lucifer who was kicked out of Heaven for rebellion and pride, wanting to be worshipped “like the most High”. No longer able to enjoy his former status and intimacy with the Almighty and with Hell as his ultimate eternal jail, he bitterly resents Father God’s offer of restored relationship with fallen man made possible through Jesus’ freewill sacrifice of Himself for us. Christ revealed that while He came “so (we) can have real and eternal life, more and better life than (we) ever dreamed of”, satan “the thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy”. And therein lies the root cause of many of Mankind’s perpetual problems. Bible references: Isaiah 14:14, Matthew 25:41 and John 10:10.

If you have questions concerning what you’ve just read, here’s a great link that you might like to check out:
+ http://www.cscc.org.sg/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=23&Itemid=96

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He Is – First Assembly of God
Lyrics/Music: Jeoffrey Benward, Jeff Silvey
This is so beautiful! I’ve watched it 5 times in the last 24 hours alone. Would have loved being a part of the orchestra or choir. “He Is” describes Jesus revealed through all the books of the Bible. Amazing!
(Thanks to Rena for introducing me to this)

Jesus Messiah & Hallelujah, Praise The Lamb – First Assembly of God
Lyrics/Music for Jesus Messiah: Daniel Carson, Chris Tomlin, Ed Cash, Jesse Reeves
Lyrics/Music for Hallelujah, Praise The Lamb: Bill & Gloria Gaither

WHAT IF…

…you are molested by a trusted family employee because you’re a cute child and you don’t know how to verbalise the horror so you gorge on food, and everyone in school wonders why you can no longer sweep all the prizes on Sports Day?

…a sister returns home from a night class filled with fear, and undergoes a swift and sudden behavioural transformation, and stops making sense and starts swearing, and later succeeds in taking her own life after several failed attempts?

…a brother is reported as MIA (Missing In Action) and your family frantically follows the most tenuous leads. Then a stranger calls and suggests you check out the mortuary as the body he’d seen at the base of his block of flats resembles the Missing Person ad with your sibling’s photo. But he thinks the person’s in his 30s while your brother’s just 19, so you decide to head to the morgue alone in case he’s mistaken and you don’t want your loved ones to be troubled by a false alarm. After the staff lets you identify the corpse pulled out from a “freezer”, they realise you’re underaged and can’t sign documents to claim the body. So you, the baby of the family, calls your parents to break the devastating news to them

…your elderly father develops senile dementia which progressively worsens, and for more than ten years, you have a dad who’s there physically yet not quite there

…the spouse you’d entrusted your virginity to walks out and disappears, presumably overseas, for close to a decade, and has zero contact with the wife, children and mother he left behind

…your kids react to your single-parenting with a range of responses varying from stretches of appreciation and love to sessions of cynicism and defiance, and from bouts of violence and rage to rounds of withdrawal and anxiety

How will you respond to traumas and tragedies like these?
Do you weep till there are no more tears left?
Rant and rave and hit out to release your anger?
Sink into depression and become suicidal?
Vow never to trust anyone ever again?
Torment yourselves with regrets or pledge revenge?
Turn the sorrow inwards and hurt yourself in some way?

We human beings resort to myriad ways of coping with negative, painful and traumatic situations. The unhealthy effects often culminate in a combination of disorders and dysfunctions. A spectrum can be found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Latest edition DSM-5). Often, the prescription is long-term medication coupled with training in coping mechanisms.

For Christians involved in the Healing and Deliverance ministry, one vital component of a complete cure is to uncover and address the spiritual roots of conditions afflicting the human spirit, soul and body. This is clearly recognised by practitioners of many other religions as well, hence through the ages, their devotees have turned to witch doctors like mediums, bomohs, shamans and sorcerors.

I used to think that it was a cop-out or shirking of responsibility when adults attribute the problems they face to their childhood experiences. But I’ve since learnt that deeply entrenched blows like rejection and abandonment that’s birthed in a toddler, infant or even a foetus—such as through the mother’s attempted abortion or desertion—can colour a person for years or even a lifetime, unless they are identified and properly dealt with.

Jesus Christ promised His followers, “I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).” If you’re a believer struggling with issues that you need help with, you might want to find out whether your church has a Healing and Deliverance Ministry.

One Christian organisation that offers personal ministry sessions is Ellel Ministries International headquartered in the United Kingdom with centres across the world. This is the website: http://www.ellelministries.org/ ~ All its counsellors undergo thorough theoretical and practical training. In Singapore, most are volunteers like me. Counsellees aren’t charged a fee but those who can afford it support the work through voluntary donations.

Freedom Reigns – Jason Upton
Lyrics/Music: Mike Larson
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom
Showers of Mercy and Grace falling on every face
If you’re tired and thirsty, there is freedom, feel the chains fall away
We lift our eyes to Jesus, there is freedom

SNIPPETS FROM MY PAST

The first time I stepped into a church was to attend a holiday camp at the invitation of my primary school Chinese teacher. It was a semi-detached house in Serangoon Gardens just a short walk from my home and I recall sewing a fat pink pig as one of the activities! Cherith Baptist was where I was introduced to the Bible in Mandarin. As Father God has His ways of bringing about divine connections, in case that kind teacher is ever led to my blog, I’d like to say, “谢谢老师! 愿恩惠与平安从父神和主耶稣基督归于您.”

My water baptism took place in East Coast Lagoon. I was then part of a Christian youth group comprising mainly military cum symphonic band members from Cedar Girls’ Secondary and Victoria School. We were Ambassadors For Christ meeting every Saturday in Balestier. On Sundays, most of us attended Bethel Assembly of God which used to be at Palm Grove Avenue in Kovan, near where I now live.

Purple and pink were my favourite colours for a long time, and at one point I only wrote in purplish ink. I had a hot pink jumpsuit in my teens and I used to pose against gorgeous flowers when taking photos. I’ve retained my liking for purple clothes, but am now mostly leaving pink attire to youngsters while I opt for red accessories as being more befitting of my mature status. However, I do still enjoy a refreshing pink strawberry milkshake!

MORSELS FROM MY PRESENT

I’m happy feasting on fruits and salads as a meal in themselves (the photo above shows my dinner presented as food art) but I’m mindful of the need for a healthy balanced diet. To me, fresh raw salmon, a juicy steak and a cheesy prawn-spinach pizza are tasty treats indeed!

Being a Hainanese, I have high expectations when it comes to one of Singapore’s favourite foods—Hainanese Chicken Rice. I consider Pow Sing Restaurant in Serangoon Gardens as serving one of the best versions on the island.

As we kick off the 9th month of this year, for all who began 2013 with plans, dreams and resolutions, this would be a good time to take stock. For me, it’s the start of a six-month COUNTDOWN to my fiftieth year of existence on earth. I’m hoping to make my first trip to Israel next year to trace the footsteps of my Lord while He was on earth.

In the Bible, the 50th year is known as the Year of Jubilee. Blow the trumpets and proclaim a Holy Year! Liberty and a Fresh Start! Respecting every human. Renewing our dedication to the Lord Almighty. Recognising the call to Do Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly with our God.

“Every 50 years everybody’s bank balance was levelled up, debts were cancelled and all the property reverted to the family who originally owned it. So the leases would get cheaper the closer you came to the fiftieth year. Slaves were also set free in the Jubilee year. Thus people looked forward to the Jubilee, known also as ‘the acceptable year of the Lord’. It was good news for the poor because they would be rich again, and it was a time when captives would be set at liberty. Jesus proclaimed in Nazareth: ‘The Spirit of the Lord is on Me…to preach good news to the poor…to proclaim freedom for the prisoners…to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.’ In other words, Jesus began the real Jubilee to which every one of these people had been looking forward.” –Unlocking The Bible by David Pawson

Jubilee – Michael Card
Lyrics/Music: Michael Card, Randy Scruggs
Jesus is our Jubilee
At the Lord’s appointed time His deep desire became a man
The heart of all true jubilation and with joy we understand
In His voice we hear a trumpet sound that tells us we are free!
He is the incarnation of the Year of Jubilee
(Thanks to Juliana for sharing this lovely song)

The Year Of Jubilee (Shnat HaYovel) – Paul Wilbur, Batya Segal
Lyrics/Music: Yochanan Ben Yehuda, Bill Cuomo, Ann Hilsden, Ian Jupp

We sing this song to You, it’s a sacrifice of praise
From the fruit of our lips, we come to bless Your holy name
Your mercy endures forever, and You delivered us from sin
Lord please teach us to love our brothers, and forgive as You forgive
In The Year of Jubilee